Writing a Legacy to Your Daughter

Sample Letters


Letters left from Mothers who have passed because the one thing that scares us most about dying, is being forgotten.


4/12/1944 - 9/5/1984


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Mara and Her Mother


Every Daughter needs a Mother but not every Daughter has one. These letters will be written by Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Step Mothers, Foster Mothers, Adoptive Mothers and other Motherly Women. You are blessed if you have someone kind and Loving in your life who cares enough to assume the Mother role.


7/22/1949 -6/19/03

Words of praise, comfort and love.

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Graduation Birthday Message note written to me on my birthday inside the book "Motherless Daughters" written by Hope Edelman. Happy Easter



Everyday Mothers

As women, the Mother Daughter bond is the most important relationship we will share through out our lives. It is how we learn to become women.


November 4, 2005

To my Dearest Daughter;

I thought it was important that you know a few things, that you know me.

“LOVE” I loved you before I ever knew of you. I was blessed with the news of you during Auntie M’s illness and it gave me the hope to go on, you saved my life. Right now you are only two years old and already have given me the most purest, magical bond I have ever known.

“GIVING THANKS” Thank you for being my inspiration. That means that you make me want to do good things, even great things but most importantly, you make me want to be good. Because of you, I want to be a better person and make the right choices, no matter how hard and that means being a strong person and a good Mother. I still have much work to do on myself and there are certain things that I have not mastered yet (i.e. I'm a yeller and a smoker, etc. At least now, I make a conscious decision to be aware, to be honest with myself and do the work it takes to make things right. Every day I give thanks and am grateful for the life that I have with you and your Father. At this very moment, I am happier than at any other time in my life.

“FORGIVENESS” Love your name! I wanted a strong name for you. It means forgiveness and compassion but the acts of both are even greater. It’s not always easy to forgive when someone has hurt you but anger and resentment should not be carried. It will make you bitter and cause damage to your physical and emotional health. At worst, it will kill your spirit. Please do not misunderstand, I do not wish for you to be walked on or taken advantage of but I am sure you will be able to recognize and find a balance. Most importantly, you must always forgive yourself. It’s all right to make mistakes, in fact, it is how we learn and grow. You might even make the same mistakes a few times before you are able to recognize and choose another way.

“BELIEVE, BELIEVE, BELIEVE!“ There is a whole universe out there and anything is possible. Believe in God and the Saints, believe in prayer, believe in Love, and even magic. I do believe that words have power and even greater power when spoken out loud. It’s making a wish and believing in it with everything in you. Never wish harm on anyone or pray for monetary self-gain.
Believe in yourself. That means you should always trust your intuition, your fist instincts are usually right. Believing in yourself means that you should know you could do anything you set your mind to. With commitment and hard work you will get where ever it is you want to be and know that nothing great or worth anything is ever easy.

“TRUTH” there are many versions of a truth and many sides to a story but there is only one truth and that is Thee actual Truth, God’s Truth. Please don’t be fooled by perception. I believe perception is used to make a person feel better or to justify a hurtful action towards another human being.
Be honest with yourself and with others. There is nothing noble about being a liar. Secondly, Lying will only hurt the people that love you and cause them to mistrust you.

“FAMILY” Family is the very essence of our identity. Family is the most important and should always be put first. Always be proud of your family, if for no other reason, because they are a part of you. They love you unconditionally and support you. They are your “rock “. They are the one’s you can lean on in life.

“EDUCATION” You need to know and appreciate how lucky you are to be a female living in America. That alone gives you the opportunity to accomplish any and all dreams you may have. My advice is to start early.
It shouldn't be taken for granted and please, although we cannot save the world, don’t turn to your head or close your eyes to the abused and oppressed Women in other countries. At the very least, pray for them. I am big on education. There are certain people in our lives who think that I should be a Mother first and put my dreams on the back burner. A small part of me believes that and is afraid that I will miss much of and take away so much from you; but, I also believe that education is empowering (especially for women) and never a waste of time or money. I think that by going back to school, I will be setting an example for you and showing you that your dreams are important. Goals are so important and the feeling of accomplishment is worth every thing that you sacrificed to get there. Sometimes in life, for some people, dreams are all they have. Let your dreams take you as far as they can go.

"RESPECT FOR SELF" First and for most, stay clear of the nay-sayers. Secondly, Don’t follow the pack, in other words, be a leader not a follower. Thirdly, Have your own ideas and your own mind. Be careful not to get caught up in other’s gossip and misery. Gossip is ugly and empty, fill yourself up with joy and surround yourself with positive people. I am sure you will get caught up in gossip and drama at some point in your life, the same as I have, but recognize it and run. It too is draining and toxic to your soul. People who don’t care about or respect them selves cannot possibly care for or respect you. Respect the privacy of others. Don’t worry so much about the way other people live their lives, so long as it doesn't affect you. Put that energy into yourself and the things you want out of life. And when life gets too busy, retreat to yourself and do the things that make you feel good and strong inside (see healing). The people that really do love and respect you will be there when you’re feeling better. For the people that take it personal, well, that’s there issue. You have the right to “be “ and do not always need to explain your self to everyone all the time.
Read your Grandmother’s letter. “The 10 commandments are still the best rules for living”. It’s not always easy to do the right thing but I believe that you will be stronger in the end. It’s called choice. Although we may want a certain thing or a situation to turn out a certain way, you need to think of the consequences that will follow, ask yourself “is it worth it” and make what you believe to be, the right choices.
I hope that you will not need to compete with others. It is a waste of time and energy and in my opinion, is not a loving or healthy way to be. People are beautiful and unique in their own ways. I believe jealousy to be one of the weakest character traits, so, LOVE YOURSELF! And have the ability to recognize, accept and even admire the beauty in-of others.
Stand by your convictions. That means I want you to stand up for what you believe in. Also know that everyone is different and others beliefs might be different from yours. What’s best for another person might not be best for you and vise-a-versa. Try to have an open mind and always try to put your self in someone else’s shoes before judging them. Don’t have the need to be perfect (none of us are) otherwise, it will be hard for you to see your faults and you will hurt people in the process. If you’re honest with yourself you will be able to do the noble deed of righting your wrongs by apologizing and admitting when you’re at fault.
“LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE” “Never ever, shrink or downplay yourself so that others around you will not feel insecure or inferior.” You are deserving!

“HEALING” The things that help me most when I am in emotional turmoil are prayer, music, reading, journaling and absolute solitude. Life can be busy but you do have the right to say no with out feeling guilty or selfish when you need to rejuvenate. In fact, if you constantly cater to everyone else’s needs or wants, you will lose yourself and have nothing to give back. In other words, you will be depleted, drained and unhappy because you will have lost your sense of self.

“FEAR” its OK to be scared so long as you move through it. Everyone is scared sometimes. I am scared right now but I will keep going anyway because it is important. Know that you are loved and not alone and that your family will always be here for you no matter what happens in life. Be patient and know that things take time. It’s not the end of the world if you fail, so long as you don’t give up. “It’s better to have failed than to never have tried at all.” My motto is “keep failing until you succeed.”
(Just in case, for some reason, your Father or myself are not here) If ever you feel overwhelmed or like you world is caving, my advice is to pray and that also goes for the times when you are scared. I promise, it will comfort you.

" FRIENDSHIP” As a friend it is our job to listen and support, whether we agree or not. It is not our place to judge the choices that other’s make, even if we love them. Others need to learn on their own so that they can grow and find out whom they are inside and what it is that will make them happy. People change because life is a constant process and I don’t think it’s ever good to stay at a stand still for too long. Although it can definitely be scary, change is good. (I have a hard time with it) but our friends will need us to stand by them. Not “kick them when they’re down” or make them second- guess themselves when they are already confused. Also, remember that not everyone has had a loving and supportive family to guide them. So, be a kind, loyal, respectful, honest, forgiving and compassionate friend.

“MONEY” Always principles first and Yes, we need money to live, it’s nice to have and you should plan for your future. Know though, that you can’t take it with you go, nor can you take anything that you bought with it. So, make lots of memories and be grateful for the things you are blessed with, good health, family, friends and the necessities.


“YOUR RIGHTS” You have the right to say no, you have the right to change your mind, you have the right to be wrong and make mistakes. You have the right to defend yourself, you have the right to have your own thoughts, feelings and ideas, and you have the right to “be.” You do not have the right to purposely hurt another living being or put your hands on someone unless it is in self-defense.

“LITTLE-BIG THINGS” Give thanks, Keep your promises, Daydream, sing out loud, dance the night away, surround yourself with beauty, use the saying “And this too shall pass”, laugh hysterically! Help the meek, Pick your battles, communicate effectively, see things through, set boundaries, treat people how you want to be treated, take your vitamins and eat healthy, Don’t Smoke! Take responsibility for your actions, Make a list of things you want to do in life and work toward them! “Believe in God, but lock your doors.” “You get what you give” When people are cruel, “kill them with Kindness” “Check” yourself once in a while. Guilt is a manmade emotion and also a useless one (beware, some use it to manipulate). Fall in love but never with a married man. Know that when we lose someone we love, they become our protectors, our guardian angel. When you cry, I hope that they will be tears of joy. I pray that you will have a daughter some day and the experience of knowing the purest bond there is, and that you will be a proud mother, never a jealous one. Know that in the end, even after you read this, you have the right to live your life in your own way.

"DREAM BIG" My dreams for you: To attend Berkelee school of Music and whatever else your heart desires. My dreams: to be a good mother, to write a book or 3or4, to finish my education, to own my own business, to marry your father, again, at a castle, in the fall with you,mason and all our loved ones by our side. My idol (besides you :) is Oprah . She has been my inspiration since the age of 14. I have so much respect for her because she uses the media to inform and educate and has empowered so many women (people). She is a humanitarian and is all about truth.

I wish this letter could have been more like a “fairytale” letter, that I could shelter you from the hard things in life. But this has been my reality and I have taken the hard road many times, even when, at times, I might have had guidance. I have wasted time but wanted you to have a head start by going through life with your eyes open. I’am not sure what I might have changed because I think that my life choices led me to you. I don’t want you to have regrets, because life is precious, you are precious!

Whether you become everything in this letter or the complete opposite, I will always be proud of you. The fact remain, your life will be what you make of it. And, no matter which life choices you make, I will love you. You are MY DAUGHTER I will love you until the moon is no more, until the end of forever.

Love Always,
Your Mother

Mara's Bio



June 30, 2005

To my sweet and loving Skylar Elizabeth,

I cannot begin to tell you the joy you have brought into my life. From the moment I looked at you I knew you were special and would look at life as an opportunity to change people's view on things. You were diagnosed with developmental delay at an early age and have struggled and strived for the last 4 years and I could not be more proud of you. You were also blessed with an Aunt who has Cerebral Palsy which will also be a reminder to you that NONE OF US SHOULD TAKE A THING FOR GRANTED….not even a breath! I feel although you are still a child you already get it….!

I was blessed with your Aunt Cheryl who is the reason that I look at life the way I do and I am so glad you will get the chance to love the way only a child with disabilities or someone close to them with one does which is a GIFT! A strong woman does not have to have a PHD to be great, she does however need to be understanding, patient and giving to be a success!! I also want to tell you that you LOVE TO SING AND DANCE don’t ever stop…sing and dance as much as you can, you see it makes you…YOU. Creative boy oh boy you have colored and painted before you could even walk or speak I hope you find out what that is all about who knows you could be the next Picasso. The other thing about you Miss Skye is that you laugh out loud….continue. you love so strong…don’t change…you are very expressive…hold that dear…and most of all be kind and tell the people you love that you love them often…believe me they know but it is nice to hear. The other thing I need you to know is it is ok to be different as a matter of fact it is GREAT to be DIFFERENT. Always beat to your own drum and remember to voice your opinion don’t be left behind SPEAK UP.. I was always taught to leave my mark when I left this earth and what a JOY I get to leave YOU….You are my life……LIVE YOURS TO THE FULLEST and ALWAYS REMEMBER MY SWEET LOVING SKYE YOU ARE LOVED……

Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the amount of times you let someone take your breath away.

Loving you always,




The overwhelming emotions and anticipation of becoming a Mother to a Daughter.

April 8, 2005

Dear Daughter,

It would not be right of me to say what I would like you to do with your life but what I would hope you would do or be able to achieve. That any dream or want that you have, to make sure that you do everything to achieve it and never let anyone stand in your way. To be a strong willed woman and stand by your decisions. You will make mistakes in life and when you do, don't get down but take the lesson out of the mistake and learn from it and move on. These words were said to me all my life growing up from my parents and I feel that, that is the most important information that I can use. Remember that I love you and will always love you and be with you no matter if you are all grown and have gone away.

Love Always,



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