"REMBER ME AND WHAT I STOOD FOR "
Letters left from Mothers who have passed because the one thing that scares us most about dying, is being forgotten.
"MORE THAN A MOTHER FIGURE"
Every Daughter needs a Mother but not every Daughter has one. These letters will be written by Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Step Mothers, Foster Mothers, Adoptive Mothers and other Motherly Women. You are blessed if you have someone kind and Loving in your life who cares enough to assume the Mother role.
"HERE AND NOW"
As women, the Mother Daughter bond is the most important relationship we will share through out our lives. It is how we learn to become women.
November 4, 2005
my Dearest Daughter;
I thought it was important that you know a few things, that you know me.
“LOVE” I loved you before I ever knew of you. I was blessed with the news of you during Auntie M’s illness and it gave me the hope to go on, you saved my life. Right now you are only two years old and already have given me the most purest, magical bond I have ever known.
“GIVING THANKS” Thank you for being my inspiration. That means that you make me want to do good things, even great things but most importantly, you make me want to be good. Because of you, I want to be a better person and make the right choices, no matter how hard and that means being a strong person and a good Mother. I still have much work to do on myself and there are certain things that I have not mastered yet (i.e. I'm a yeller and a smoker, etc. At least now, I make a conscious decision to be aware, to be honest with myself and do the work it takes to make things right. Every day I give thanks and am grateful for the life that I have with you and your Father. At this very moment, I am happier than at any other time in my life.
“FORGIVENESS” Love your name! I wanted a strong name for you. It means forgiveness and compassion but the acts of both are even greater. It’s not always easy to forgive when someone has hurt you but anger and resentment should not be carried. It will make you bitter and cause damage to your physical and emotional health. At worst, it will kill your spirit. Please do not misunderstand, I do not wish for you to be walked on or taken advantage of but I am sure you will be able to recognize and find a balance. Most importantly, you must always forgive yourself. It’s all right to make mistakes, in fact, it is how we learn and grow. You might even make the same mistakes a few times before you are able to recognize and choose another way.
BELIEVE, BELIEVE!“ There is a whole universe out there and anything
is possible. Believe in God and the Saints, believe in prayer, believe
in Love, and even magic. I do believe that words have power and even
greater power when spoken out loud. It’s making a wish and believing
in it with everything in you. Never wish harm on anyone or pray for
there are many versions of a truth and many sides to a story but there
is only one truth and that is Thee actual Truth, God’s Truth. Please
don’t be fooled by perception. I believe perception is used to make
a person feel better or to justify a hurtful action towards another
“FAMILY” Family is the very essence of our identity. Family is the most important and should always be put first. Always be proud of your family, if for no other reason, because they are a part of you. They love you unconditionally and support you. They are your “rock “. They are the one’s you can lean on in life.
You need to know and appreciate how lucky you are to be a female living
in America. That alone gives you the opportunity to accomplish any
and all dreams you may have. My advice is to start early.
FOR SELF" First and for most, stay clear of the nay-sayers. Secondly,
Don’t follow the pack, in other words, be a leader not a follower.
Thirdly, Have your own ideas and your own mind. Be careful not to
get caught up in other’s gossip and misery. Gossip is ugly and empty,
fill yourself up with joy and surround yourself with positive people.
I am sure you will get caught up in gossip and drama at some point
in your life, the same as I have, but recognize it and run. It too
is draining and toxic to your soul. People who don’t care about or
respect them selves cannot possibly care for or respect you. Respect
the privacy of others. Don’t worry so much about the way other people
live their lives, so long as it doesn't affect you. Put that energy
into yourself and the things you want out of life. And when life gets
too busy, retreat to yourself and do the things that make you feel
good and strong inside (see healing). The people that really do love
and respect you will be there when you’re feeling better. For the
people that take it personal, well, that’s there issue. You have the
right to “be “ and do not always need to explain your self to everyone
all the time.
“HEALING” The things that help me most when I am in emotional turmoil are prayer, music, reading, journaling and absolute solitude. Life can be busy but you do have the right to say no with out feeling guilty or selfish when you need to rejuvenate. In fact, if you constantly cater to everyone else’s needs or wants, you will lose yourself and have nothing to give back. In other words, you will be depleted, drained and unhappy because you will have lost your sense of self.
its OK to be scared so long as you move through it. Everyone is scared
sometimes. I am scared right now but I will keep going anyway because
it is important. Know that you are loved and not alone and that your
family will always be here for you no matter what happens in life.
Be patient and know that things take time. It’s not the end of the
world if you fail, so long as you don’t give up. “It’s better to have
failed than to never have tried at all.” My motto is “keep failing
until you succeed.”
" FRIENDSHIP” As a friend it is our job to listen and support, whether we agree or not. It is not our place to judge the choices that other’s make, even if we love them. Others need to learn on their own so that they can grow and find out whom they are inside and what it is that will make them happy. People change because life is a constant process and I don’t think it’s ever good to stay at a stand still for too long. Although it can definitely be scary, change is good. (I have a hard time with it) but our friends will need us to stand by them. Not “kick them when they’re down” or make them second- guess themselves when they are already confused. Also, remember that not everyone has had a loving and supportive family to guide them. So, be a kind, loyal, respectful, honest, forgiving and compassionate friend.
“MONEY” Always principles first and Yes, we need money to live, it’s nice to have and you should plan for your future. Know though, that you can’t take it with you go, nor can you take anything that you bought with it. So, make lots of memories and be grateful for the things you are blessed with, good health, family, friends and the necessities.
"SUCCESS” IF YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF JUST ONE PERSON OR AFFECT ONE LIFE IN A POSITIVE WAY, IN MY EYES, YOU WILL HAVE SUCCEEDED.
“YOUR RIGHTS” You have the right to say no, you have the right to change your mind, you have the right to be wrong and make mistakes. You have the right to defend yourself, you have the right to have your own thoughts, feelings and ideas, and you have the right to “be.” You do not have the right to purposely hurt another living being or put your hands on someone unless it is in self-defense.
“LITTLE-BIG THINGS” Give thanks, Keep your promises, Daydream, sing out loud, dance the night away, surround yourself with beauty, use the saying “And this too shall pass”, laugh hysterically! Help the meek, Pick your battles, communicate effectively, see things through, set boundaries, treat people how you want to be treated, take your vitamins and eat healthy, Don’t Smoke! Take responsibility for your actions, Make a list of things you want to do in life and work toward them! “Believe in God, but lock your doors.” “You get what you give” When people are cruel, “kill them with Kindness” “Check” yourself once in a while. Guilt is a manmade emotion and also a useless one (beware, some use it to manipulate). Fall in love but never with a married man. Know that when we lose someone we love, they become our protectors, our guardian angel. When you cry, I hope that they will be tears of joy. I pray that you will have a daughter some day and the experience of knowing the purest bond there is, and that you will be a proud mother, never a jealous one. Know that in the end, even after you read this, you have the right to live your life in your own way.
"DREAM BIG" My dreams for you: To attend Berkelee school of Music and whatever else your heart desires. My dreams: to be a good mother, to write a book or 3or4, to finish my education, to own my own business, to marry your father, again, at a castle, in the fall with you,mason and all our loved ones by our side. My idol (besides you :) is Oprah . She has been my inspiration since the age of 14. I have so much respect for her because she uses the media to inform and educate and has empowered so many women (people). She is a humanitarian and is all about truth.
I wish this letter could have been more like a “fairytale” letter, that I could shelter you from the hard things in life. But this has been my reality and I have taken the hard road many times, even when, at times, I might have had guidance. I have wasted time but wanted you to have a head start by going through life with your eyes open. I’am not sure what I might have changed because I think that my life choices led me to you. I don’t want you to have regrets, because life is precious, you are precious!
Whether you become everything in this letter or the complete opposite, I will always be proud of you. The fact remain, your life will be what you make of it. And, no matter which life choices you make, I will love you. You are MY DAUGHTER I will love you until the moon is no more, until the end of forever.
June 30, 2005
To my sweet and loving Skylar Elizabeth,
I cannot begin to tell you the joy you have brought into my life. From the moment I looked at you I knew you were special and would look at life as an opportunity to change people's view on things. You were diagnosed with developmental delay at an early age and have struggled and strived for the last 4 years and I could not be more proud of you. You were also blessed with an Aunt who has Cerebral Palsy which will also be a reminder to you that NONE OF US SHOULD TAKE A THING FOR GRANTED….not even a breath! I feel although you are still a child you already get it….!
I was blessed with your Aunt Cheryl who is the reason that I look at life the way I do and I am so glad you will get the chance to love the way only a child with disabilities or someone close to them with one does which is a GIFT! A strong woman does not have to have a PHD to be great, she does however need to be understanding, patient and giving to be a success!! I also want to tell you that you LOVE TO SING AND DANCE don’t ever stop…sing and dance as much as you can, you see it makes you…YOU. Creative boy oh boy you have colored and painted before you could even walk or speak I hope you find out what that is all about who knows you could be the next Picasso. The other thing about you Miss Skye is that you laugh out loud….continue. you love so strong…don’t change…you are very expressive…hold that dear…and most of all be kind and tell the people you love that you love them often…believe me they know but it is nice to hear. The other thing I need you to know is it is ok to be different as a matter of fact it is GREAT to be DIFFERENT. Always beat to your own drum and remember to voice your opinion don’t be left behind SPEAK UP.. I was always taught to leave my mark when I left this earth and what a JOY I get to leave YOU….You are my life……LIVE YOURS TO THE FULLEST and ALWAYS REMEMBER MY SWEET LOVING SKYE YOU ARE LOVED……
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the amount of times you let someone take your breath away.
"CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU"
The overwhelming emotions and anticipation of becoming a Mother to a Daughter.
April 8, 2005
It would not be right of me to say what I would like you to do with your life but what I would hope you would do or be able to achieve. That any dream or want that you have, to make sure that you do everything to achieve it and never let anyone stand in your way. To be a strong willed woman and stand by your decisions. You will make mistakes in life and when you do, don't get down but take the lesson out of the mistake and learn from it and move on. These words were said to me all my life growing up from my parents and I feel that, that is the most important information that I can use. Remember that I love you and will always love you and be with you no matter if you are all grown and have gone away.
Looking for letters for the categories below:
"A MOTHER'S LOSS"
A chance for Mothers to have closure, assurance that they are not alone and another chance to heal.
"MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS FIGHTING BREAST CANCER"
"For Mothers and Daughters battling or recovering from Breast Cancer"
"TIPS ON WRITING A LEGACY LETTER"
I have spoken with so many Women who would love to write letters to their Daughters but do not know how to express their thoughts on paper.